Monday, April 16, 2007

The Birth of the Festivus Party

Are you:

  • A former federal Progressive Conservative who feels the federal Conservative Party is too right-wing for you?
  • A former federal Reformer who feels the federal Conservative Party is too left-wing for you?
  • A Green or a Liberal upset by the deal between Elizabeth May and Stephane Dion?
  • A Liberal just in general upset with Stephane Dion?
  • Former political insider who never gets invited to the cool political party parties any more? Maybe you still smart from all those knife wounds in your back?
  • Regretting that floor crossing?
  • Suffering from a whole bunch of skeletons in your closet?
  • An independent looking to cash in on the tax receipt goodness of party donations?

In short, are you something of a political persona non grata?

I hereby propose the creation of the Festivus Party - it's a political party for the rest of us.

It will be a party with no cohesive national platform or policy, not unlike today's choices for federal parties, but we will be honest and upfront about it.

You can be a fanatic or a moderate, you can be a hothead or a passive wallflower. Everybody in their own riding will have their own hidden or open agenda - your choice. While we won't have policy conventions, we'll still have conventions because conventions equal good times.

We also won't have a leadership convention - since it's my party, I'm the leader for life. Unless that's illegal, in which case I'll be leader emiritus [emeritus?] - except I want to be paid.

We will run multiple candidates in the same ridings just to make sure somebody will get offered a Senate seat or federal commission appointment to convince us to stop splitting the whackjob vote.

All votes in the House are free. Which, will likely be moot since there's really no likelihood of us winning any seats.

Memberships will cost the relatively standard $10 / year, but you can get a month-by-month membership for $2. This way, if your original political party is welcoming you back, you can always leave us in the lurch. Floor crossing isn't frowned upon, it is encouraged. Go, come back, tell us what kind of snacks they serve in their caucus meetings.

Before you ask, this is way different than the Rhinocerous Party. They were funny.

:-)

8 comments:

lance said...

"They were funny"

Hah! So is this. Pay as you go memberships, ROTFL!

Anthony said...

Can we do paypal?

Jim said...

I think we'll also give out Air Miles, too, or buy 1 get one free Dairy Queen coupons.

Anonymous said...

The correct spelling is emeritus.
Female is emerita, and plural is emeriti.

Good luck, by the way! Great idea!

Jay said...

Where do I sign up?

My membership is about to lapse and I don't intend on renewing.

Zorpheous said...

FESTICUS PARTY OF CANADA

or how about,...

FESTICUS UNITED PARTY OF CANADA

Vote F-U or F-U, the choice is yours

LOL, I love it!

I call minister of silly shoes

Zorpheous said...

For ontario F-U POO

FESTICUS UNITED PARTY OF ONTARIO

Jim said...

F-U POO.

That's a winner.