Monday, November 20, 2006

Etiquette Citations

Brilliant!

Torontoist : Etiquette Citations We'd Like To See
Sharing public spaces with millions of other people takes work. Most of the time, it's no biggie for the seasoned city resident, but every now and then a serious etiquette violation can upset the balance.

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Continue reading to see how Torontoist imagines these tickets would look like. We've also linked to PDF versions of them to download in case our readers actually want to drop a hint to someone on their own.

Torontoist cites offenses for uses on the TTC, the Entertainment District, and in the city in general.

I have some food court etiquette offenses that warrant a card.

Complaining about the quality of food court food during peak hours.

First off, the majority of food court food stinks so complaining is redundant.

Secondly, I'm usually in something of a hurry when I'm in line for Combo #32, and I don't want you to complain that the wasabi for your food court sushi lacks that certain je ne sais quoi.

Thirdly, if the food provider does entertain your complaint, do not storm off in the middle of them trying to resolve it. They're usually handling me next and I don't want your helping of Vengeance SpitTM.

Loitering in the food court.

If you are seated at a table, then you must be eating. If you are not eating, you are not seated at the table.

The logic works both ways.

Extra loitering in the food court.

Two people do not need a table for 4. A "coat" and a "briefcase" do not constitute two extra people.

Condiments not easily accessible adding to turmoil.

Providers should not provide condiments in bottles, jars, or in containers requiring manual dexterity unless you provide a separate and distinct counter for the application of condiments. Everything should be in little packets, or should be available in little packets from the provider next door for easy pilfering.

Providers must at least try to make edible food.

I know, I'm not allowed to complain about the quality, but don't assume we're stupid. I know my herbs, and human hair does not taste the same as lemongrass.

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