A lot of people have emailed me to ask me why I don't jaywalk.
Well, actually, nobody has, but if you knew why I don't jaywalk, you probably would email me to ask me why I don't jaywalk.
Yes, that was a lame opening.
Anyway, I went for a walk yesterday during lunch over in the Entertainment District and noticed that there were a lot of people jaywalking. Traffic downtown was surprising light, and so there were a lot of intersections with red lights on for no reason, I guess. People would charge out and cross without a care. Me, being the non-jaywalker, would just stand on the corner feeling all alone.
My problem isn't with the actual act of jaywalking as I have jaywalked and continue to do so. My problem is with the "when" the act occurs.
I'm usually only in an opportunity to jaywalk when I'm downtown.
I'm usually only downtown when I'm working.
Therefore, if I jaywalk, I increase the likelihood of me being bug splatter on the windshield of a minivan during a work day.
And, I have an irrational fear of dying while working or while at work (which explains my previous exclamations about preppy junior accountants trying to run me over. See? It's a pattern). The thought of my last few moments on earth consumed with setting up a meeting or checking my voice mail makes me nauseous. The worst thought I could have as my last would be, "Did I forget to issue a status report?"
So, the last thing I'm going to do while working, is jaywalk.
Tags: insanity, jaywalking