Saturday, September 07, 2002

Casino Niagara Blackjack Champion Encounter

I went to Casino Niagara this past week, during a week visit to Niagara Falls. Now, I like to play blackjack. I'm fairly good - not ready to become a pro yet, but I'm okay.

I hate the guys that sit at the end of the table shaking their heads everytime you don't do what they think you should do. The following rant is for those boneheads. It's those know-it-alls, that always blow their welfare cheques - big experts.

When you start winning, I'll take blackjack lessons from you. Until then, just mind your own business. Don't need you.

Wednesday, August 28, 2002

Poetic Justice

I went to the Comic Book/Anime/Science Fiction Expo 2002 at the Metro Convention Centre on Saturday, August 24. Here is my report.

Ironically, booked at the very same time, was some Fitness/Work Out/Musclehead convention. All these muscleheads walking around, veins bursting in every joint, eyebrow, and neck in the place side by side with ... well, the "great mass of the unwashed" never held truer - being interested in less mainstream entertainment is one thing, but refusing to use a bar of soap is another.

The lengths to which some people get involved is fascinating to say the least. I mean, I saw a 6' 1", 300 lb. woman dressed up as Sailor Moon. Before you ask, I was tastefully dressed in my Autobot (Transformers) t-shirt with my cargo shorts and Nike sandals ... enough to fit in, but not enough that I'd have to worry about getting beaten up on Front St.

Anyway, you could hear the heckling from the Work Out Group - snips about the "fragrance", the costumes, the overbites ... I think the Work Out Group lost all credibility when, muscles rippling, they couldn't open a door to leave the convention centre. Their frustration grew, the perspiration quadrupled, until someone with a Sci-Fi All Access Pass walked by and pointed out the sign that read, "This door locked at all times". I didn't hear another peep from them.

That incident made standing in line for 45 minutes to get my ticket while the guy behind me whined about how much he'd kill to have a shield like Captain America all the more worthwhile.

Tuesday, August 13, 2002

Bye Bye

Have you ever wished that someone would get hit by a bus or run over by rampaging elephants, only to have something like that happen?

Well, I left a company a few months back due to unbearable working conditions - I won't say which company, but I will say it's an extremely large and international investment firm. Actually, that describes the last two jobs, but - it's the one I just left.

Anyway, the division I was employed with just shut down. In a way, I'm extremely happy to see the whole farce blow up. Yet, I can't help but feel bad for the hundred or so people now out of work.

Just another weird thing.

Friday, July 12, 2002

Escalator Princesses

Escalator Princesses

What, you ask, is an Escalator Princess?

An Escalator Princess is somebody who doesn't know how to use an escalator properly. While it may seem not that hard to use an escalator, the Escalator Princess has figured out how to do it. Since I'm a commuter into Toronto, I feel I have great expertise with this phenomenon.

There are three types of Escalator Princesses:

The Road Block Princess of the Escalator is someone who does not follow the established rules of traversing an escalator. On the TTC, you "walk left, stand right". The Road Block, instead, stands middle. Neither to the left nor to the right. They either have way too much baggage for you to go by on either side, or they are just big. They don't care, they don't have anywhere to go. In future rants, you'll notice that I have great disdain for people who have no where to go. I'm punished because I know where I'm going. Meh.

The Floating Princess of the Escalator is someone who, rather than walking up the escalator, chooses to find a rising air current and "float" up the escalator. They take one step, gingerly pacing themselves ... very ... slowly. Again, these people also have no where to go - that's why they can float. They don't move any faster than a someone pushing out a constipated fart.

The final kind is, in fact, seemingly opposite. They are the Magnetic Butt Princess of the Escalator and they get you everytime. They are the ones in an extreme rush - attempting to get wherever the bat signal is leading them. They don't walk around you, they don't say excuse me. Instead, they rush right up to the step behind you and spend the entire trip up the escalator eye level with your buttocks. How's that make you feel? Kind of wish you had a burrito for lunch ...

Anyway, as more types come to me, I'll add them to the blog. Right now, I'm sleepy.

Later.

Welcome!

Welcome to the Official Calder Online Blog.

I'm going to rant, rave, and generally carry on ridiculous conversations, arguments, and spout my points of view.

Enjoy.